Ashamed of the Church: Calling
Ashamed of the Church: Calling is a post in the series “Ashamed of the Church.” The series follows my Lenten vow to honestly, yet respectfully, express my opinions and criticism of Christians and the Church. You’ll want to read the introductory post.
Calling 1. a strong inner impulse toward a particular course of action especially when accompanied by conviction of divine influence. 2. the vocation or profession in which one customarily engages. (Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary, 2010)
It has become one of the most overused words in contemporary Christian culture. I almost can’t sit through a 20 minute sermon or spiritual conversation without the word being used. Most everyone clamors “what is my calling?”
One of the most obsessive things about us Christians is constantly wanting to know God’s will for our lives. I can’t say I blame us for getting excited about it. I mean, it’s almost like knowing the future, right under knowing the next winning lottery numbers and hot stock picks. Ironically, if we’ve read and understood the bible, we pretty much know God’s will for our lives. If not, the Westminster Shorter Catechism sums it up fairly well: “Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy Him forever.”
I believe some churches unknowingly (or perhaps some knowingly) capitalize on a person’s desire to know their “calling.” They provide all manner of classes, resources, and counseling to help people discover how they are “wired”. Then at the end of the program, they provide them with a listing of opportunities to use their personality and the gifts they discovered. Usually that list is exclusively volunteer opportunities in their organization and ones they’re affiliated with. “Nothing strikes you as ‘you?’ Try something. Anything.” And when they find out they don’t fit into any of their predetermined boxes? When they find out they are a square peg and all they have are round holes? Silence truly is deafening. I’m ashamed of that.
Recently, I was interested in a mission trip that will be taking place this fall. I attended the initial meeting, signed up for more information and got a few of the emails. The last mass email went something like this : “If you are no longer feeling called…” To me that implied they only wanted “called” people to go. I didn’t so I honored their wishes and excused myself. I’m wishing I hadn’t but I believe those words were a critical mistake for them.
Five years ago, I took my first mission trip. I was looking for my “calling” and several people suggested I might give it a try. “But which one? ” I asked. They said “Just pick one and go to the information meeting.” I picked the coolest one on the list. It was a trip to the desert of North Africa to encourage a full-time missionary there and help her build relationships with the people while riding camels and camping the desert. Honestly I would have done that for vacation and, well, that’s what bothered me. I didn’t want to take a “vacation for Jesus” as I’d seen others do. I struggled. I prayed. I heard nothing.
So, as the deadline loomed and I needed to make a decision, I called a friend who spent two years in China as a missionary. I asked him “Why China?” He began talking to me about the Great Commission. I stopped him and said “I know that. Why China?” He started talking about the 10-40 window. I stopped him again and said “I know that. Why China?” Finally he said “Jesus, in the Great Commission, asked all of us to go and make disciples. But I went specifically to China because someone challenged me to quit my job and be a missionary in China for a year. I trusted God that if He didn’t want me to go, He’d stop me.”
And so that’s what I did. I trusted God that He would stop me. I went to the training classes for 10 weeks at a time very inconvenient for me. When I needed to fill out the lengthy application, I did. When they asked me for a deposit for plane tickets, I wrote the check. And when they talked about the rest of the money, I could have written a check for that. I was encouraged not to, but to ask for support. I hate asking anyone for anything. One of the others sent almost 100 letters asking for support. I sent 10 and said to God “If any of these people believes in me and what I’m doing enough to send me $1, I will pay the rest myself.” My God is awesome. I didn’t have to write any more checks. So I went and am glad I did. Out of everything that happened (which is the subject for another post), I got one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever received, learned one of the greatest lessons of my life.
Christians believe that man was made in the image of God. The scriptures say we are wonderfully and fearfully made. And yet we are taught (by churches) to distrust our heart and our desires. I’m ashamed of that. Psalms 37:4 says “Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart”. The lesson I learned was this: If I’m truly enjoying God, then I shouldn’t distrust my heart or my desires, because He made my heart and He put those desires there. And if God has something specific for me to do, he’ll let me know. Just ask Moses. Or Jonah. Or Paul. God didn’t give me my calling. God gave me my freedom.
Photo credit: markhillary
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